Monday, July 19, 2010

I went to see the doctor this morning. This particular one, Dr. Nelson, was corpulent. And he had a rather patchy beard and a ponytail. He was friendly and disarming. He said words like "dude," referring to me, "huge" referring to my tonsils, and "wicked" referring to my lymph nodes. When he left the room, I heard him shout to one of the nurses that I have "freakin' huge tonsils." I was kind of proud to hear that, and I beamed while I waited.

When the test results came back positive for mono, he seemed genuinely sympathetic. He said I would continue to experience symptoms for six to eight weeks and that I would be contagious for three to four months. It's a hell of a virus. He admonished me sternly not to play contact sports. I said that wouldn't be a problem. He told me a story about how a friend of his ruptured his spleen during a particularly violent bout of vomiting. It's serious, he said. I thanked him, and drove home to take a nap.

The strange thing about this is that I feel worse now that I know I have mono, and now that I know I'm not just lazy for wanting to sleep all the time, I'm probably going to just sleep all the time. Sleeping is great. I love to sleep. I love bread, and I love sleeping.

6 comments:

schupack said...

ew

Lindsey said...

Your demise is shocking.

katietracy. said...

1) This is an awesome description of a way less awesome thing.
2) Please, please PLEASE do not give me mono when you come to visit me.

Megan said...

yesterday you had bread and you slept. must have been pretty awesome.

DrLeoMarvin said...

I guess I don't get how you sleeping all the time is going to be any kind of change...

Laura said...

Bread > sleeping

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